A subject very close to my heart is mental health. I lost one of my closest male friends to suicide 5 years ago. It was the anniversary of his death just two weeks ago. Constantly left with that feeling that I should do more, I am at least glad that the dialogue is changing and men are speaking out about mental health. Here are 3 reads brave enough to support this dialogue.
The Boy Between: A Mother and Son's Journey From a World Gone Grey Amanda Prowse and Josiah Hartley
Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one…
Josiah was nineteen with the world at his feet when things changed. Without warning, the new university student’s mental health deteriorated to the point that he planned his own death. His mother, bestselling author Amanda Prowse, found herself grappling for ways to help him, with no clear sense of where that could be found. This is the book they wish had been there for them during those dark times.
Josiah’s situation is not unusual: the statistics on student mental health are terrifying. And he was not the only one suffering; his family was also hijacked by his illness, watching him struggle and fearing the day he might succeed in taking his life.
In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah’s raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child.
For anyone with depression and anyone who loves someone with depression, Amanda and Josiah have a clear message—you are not alone, and there is hope.
Bobs and Books thoughts:
I have heard so many parents over the years say they don't know how to react to their own child's mental health and Amanda speaks so honestly about how she has tried to get this right- the advice from everyone that's meaningless but well intentioned, whilst praying each day your child stays alive; its very powerful.
Josiah (known as Josh) speaks so bravely too about how he felt and how he reacted to his surroundings.
Each chapter takes in turn both mother and son perspectives and its very revealing seeing the both sides. Photographs of them also enhance this read.
What struck me more than ever was how Amanda stresses they are an "ordinary family". There was no significant shift or giant drama. It creeps up on a family and the family live alongside depression (its almost treated as a character itself that they just want to shoo away.)
The Boy Who Lost His Smile Lawrence Prestidge
As he drove home late at night, a voice in Lawrence Prestidge's head told him to press the gas pedal, crash his car and take his own life.
He listened to the command - and the decision to do so changed everything, albeit not in the way that he had originally intended.
The Boy Who Lost His Smile tells the story of how Prestidge came to suffer from mental ill health, and how he battled his demons to improve his state of mind. It wasn't a linear journey, but he hopes that sharing the ups and downs will help others who face the same challenges - and show them that they, too, can come out on the other side.
Bobs and Books honest thoughts:
This too is a very poignant and emotional read. Incredibly honest and thought provoking. Refreshing to hear someone so honest about mental health and a road to recovery.
Some humorous sections in this, and ends with such positivity and hope. Also discusses other people's mental health battles, and features some very touching stories. A real eye opener. One to read, listen and learn.
Pasta Mike, A Story of Friendship and Loss- Andrew Cotto
Mike O'Shea and Andy Cotto knew each other their entire lives. Born days apart on the same block, baptized in the same water, the two friends were inseparable growing up and into adulthood.
After celebrating their 40th birthdays together, Mike falls ill and dies shortly after. The impact on Andy is enormous, and he spirals into a depression that threatens everything he holds dear.
Through memory and support, Andy is able to reconcile his grief and appreciate the power of male friendship and the beauty of life.
Pasta Mike is a testimony to the bonds men share and the vulnerabilities beneath the stoic surface.
Bobs and Books honest thoughts:
A really thoughtful and frank read. Not afraid to discuss hard and difficult subjects and really hit home the true horror of 9/11. Powerful with a male voice and doesn't shy away from the impact losing a close friend has. The bond between the two men is unbreakable as Andy lives with the loss of his hero friend alongside him. Totally absorbing as the emotion pours through.
Out Jan 20th 2022. Details here: Pasta Mike: A Story of Friendship and Loss: Amazon.co.uk: Cotto, Andrew: 9781684338658: Books
A passage from The Boy Between in Josh's chapter really struck me so I want to end on this striking message.
"I am sure some of you will think that if I had been serious about suicide then I would have done it immediately, wouldn't I? And to you I would say that this is pretty much the whole point of the book- to say, I wanted to die on that day. but not necessarily the day that came after. And that's the message: no matter how bad you feel, how low, how sad, how broken, tomorrow is another day and you might feel differently, and so please, please hang on, just hang on in there... give it time, give it one more day and then one more day and then one more day and then one more... Please do that.
Thanks for reading.